Christian Singles Leaders Network annual meeting
When I was introduced to a Janet Wolfe by my mentor six months ago, I knew little about her role and passion for connecting singles. I discovered that Janet has been providing resources for Christian leaders to support and research ministries involved with singles in the Church.
Janet runs Christian Singles Leaders Network(CSLN), which was formed in June 2012. Each year in November, CSLN host an annual meeting to network with other leaders involved in the sphere of singleness. It was a great opportunity to meet others who run; projects, events, dating websites, counselling/life coaching sessions or teach and mentor others.
When I first arrived, I started talking to a couple of ladies including Ivona, a relationship specialist (I felt I could do with one of those), Chantel who attends Church called Ruach (which means "Breath" in Hebrew) and Beth who works for Christian Connection (a Christian dating website). It was great to discuss the different roles we have in helping to bring people together and how we all work in different spheres of society. My passion is in many ways less focussing on singleness as a whole, but more for creating community and providing an open forum where people can meet and chat.
I was in the minority as a male and was very hungry that evening and so I maximised on the three course buffet meal, before the first point of discussion was put forward!
"Why are men reluctant to attend Singles events?"
My automatic thoughts are, well that's easy, and so I scribbled down a couple of words:
Nutters
Women dominating/Dress-up
Branding/Culture/Expectation
Pressure/Not fun!
I expressed a couple of thoughts on the evening, but here are some of the thoughts that initially entered my mind.
1. Nutters
One of the great things about being involved in a Church community is the variety of people you meet, many of whom you would never brush shoulders with aside that setting. But, when you are running an event, you need to ensure the people who have responsibility have the right skills for the roles they are given. Don't give "nutters" a platform if they are not suitable for the role or if they have not had suitable training.
2. Women dominating/Dress-up
Women are amazing and will often take initiative in things they enjoy. I have however found that many women think they know what guys like - because it is what they like! Women tend to be more organised and will plan more in advance, where as guys will often be a little more last minute. Women want the opportunity to dress up and look beautiful, but guys, although they don't mind dressing up once in a while, will more often than not prefer something less pressure. They will generally prefer to have a beer or glass of wine in a lower pressure pub environment. Or prefer to do an activity which will involve natural interaction and not forced entertainment.
3. Branding/Culture/Expectation
Pick your audience and be niche! You can't be all things to all people, so when thinking of what to do - pick a theme! (don't make that theme singleness - people want something to distract them from thinking about singleness). Invite people who will enjoy the event or theme and make sure you do the themed event well. Don't over promise regarding the event. Instead, surprise everyone and over deliver. Word of mouth is a powerful tool.
4. Pressure/Not fun!
Don't create a pressure environment! Focus on people having natural chats and discussions. Many dating events can be a disappointment, as people go with expectations of finding a connection with someone. It's so much better when people can be real and natural when they meet.
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I always feel that something special happens when people with a similar passion or burden gather intentionally in one place together - there is an expectancy and a spirit of togetherness for a common purpose and that was evident at this meeting.
It was an honour to be asked to speak and share some of the; activities, experiences and challenges that I have faced over the years when hosting events to bring people together.
If there is anything I would encourage you to do, it would be to take action and get involved. If you would like to put something on yourself or have an idea to help bring people together, give it a try. One spot of advice however would be - try to focus on community and not singleness as a theme.
If you have any ideas of activities you would love to do to bring people together or have an idea about something that you are passionate about, please follow Fresh Light or First Friday on Facebook, see the Fresh Light website or message us as we are always looking for new people to help our team build community.
Some of the key
